Category values

Finding a conversation about work in a post-apocalyptic novel

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

I’m reading National Book Award nominated ‘Station Eleven’ by Emily St. John Mandel. I’m about half way through this story of a post-apocalyptic world and in a ‘flash back’, we encounter a conversation about corporate life.

One of the characters, Clark, conducts 360 degree assessments with corporate leaders who are too valuable to an organization to lose. His job is to ‘fix’ them by providing feedback from co-workers. If you’ve spent any time in a corporate environment, you’ve either been the target or a participant in one of these exercises.

Clark (think George Clooney in ‘Up in the Air’, but everyone gets to keep their job) is meeting with Dahlia and the ‘target’ is Dan.

Dahlia starts with: “These people you coach, do they ever actually change? I mean in any kind of lasting notable way?”

Clark responds: “They change their behaviors…some of them..

A bit later Dahlia asserts: “Here’s the thing…I bet you can coach Dan, and he’ll probably exhibit a turnaround of sorts, he’ll improve in concrete areas, but he’ll still be a joyless bastard.”

She continues: “No, wait, don’t write that down. Let me rephrase that. Okay, let’s say he’ll change a little, probably if you coach him, but he’ll still be a successful-but-unhappy person who works until nine p.m. every night because he’s got a terrible marriage and doesn’t want to go home, and don’t ask how I know that, everyone knows when you’ve got a terrible marriage, it’s like having bad breath, you get close enough to a person and it’s obvious. And you know, I’m reaching here, but I’m talking about someone  who just seems like he wishes he’d done something different with his life, I mean really, actually almost anything – is this too much?”

The conversation goes on until Dahlia further illustrates her point: “I’m talking about those people who’ve ended up in one life instead of another and they are just so disappointed. Do you know what I mean? They’ve done what’s expected of them. They want to do something different but it’s impossible now, there’s a mortgage, kids, whatever, they’re trapped. Dan’s one of them.”

Clark: “You don’t think he likes his job then?”

“Correct,” she said, “but I don’t think he even realizes it. You probably encounter people like him all the time. High-functioning sleepwalkers, essentially.”

When he leaves the interview and walks out on the street, Clark realizes he has been one of those sleepwalkers himself. “…moving half-asleep through the motions of life for awhile now, years; not specifically unhappy, but when had he last found real joy in his work? When was the last time he’d been truly moved by anything? When had he last felt awe or inspiration?”

(This conversation takes place on pages 162-164 and we know that our characters are only three weeks away from the pandemic that will set off society’s collapse. The only thing we are missing is Clark passing the guy with the sandwich board and microphone in Times Square announcing “The end is near!”)

Here’s the thing. We read business books, professional journals. We attend conferences as we progress through our careers. But it’s on the weekend, on the beach, when we are reading a novel that we come upon a dialog that incorporates the key questions about our life at work.

This is why we read. At some point in the narrative, we enter the world the novelist creates and then she throws us a link to the world we live in and for a minute we are shocked by it’s relevance.

You may never read ‘Station Eleven’, although I recommend it – a great story. There may be another ‘great book’ on the shelf that resonates. In the end, to be our best at work, we need to be awake, not sleepwalking through our career.

Knowing when to leave…

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

One of the most difficult workplace decisions is choosing to leave a job you love.

This past week, Chris Borland, an American football player with the San Francisco 49ers announced his decision to leave the sport he loves after his first year in the NFL. This was probably the most public resignation from a dream job in recent memory. It reminds us that even if we love what we do, we need to constantly monitor workplace reality to maintain ownership of our career.

In an interview with CBS’s ‘Face the Nation’ program on Sunday, Mr. Borland said, “The decision was simple after I had done a lot of research and it was personal. I was concerned about neurological diseases down the road if I continued to play football, so I did a lot of research and gathered a lot of information and to me the decision made sense.”

For some of us, dangers in the workplace to both our health and our well being are the catalyst for change.

Former QVC host, Lisa Robertson, appearing on Good Morning America, shared her history at the shopping network and her decision to leave after 20 years. Her visibility and celebrity resulted in multiple stalkers threatening her life outside her workplace. “I would just lock myself in my house and then go to work.” There was no quality of life outside work.

For most of us, it starts as a doubt, an observation, a sense that something is not quite right.

Financial guru, Suze Orman in a Linkedin ‘Pulse’ interview described her decision:

“About a year ago, something started to change. I woke up one morning, and I knew that it was time to end the Suze Orman Show. There was no external trigger; just a feeling that I had shifted, not the workplace.

Could I have ignored that feeling and just keep on keeping on? Sure. But that would have been so disrespectful. To myself, and most of all to the viewers. I never wanted to give less than 100 percent. And let’s face it, if you stay on for the wrong reasons, your eventual exit will likely not be on your own terms. I wasn’t going to fall into that trap.”

Something had ‘shifted’. As we mature along our career paths, we are changing as the workplace changes. We revise our definition of success and dream fulfillment over time. If we are true to ourselves and ‘respect’ our calling, we have to know when to leave.

External realities can erode the dream until you arrive on a Monday and find you are living in a career nightmare. For Chris Borland and Lisa Robertson the consequences of pursuing their dream jobs far outweighed the benefits. For Ms. Orman, her experience reflects a process of transition that resonates with many. It was just time to go.

Her advice to trust your gut and let go offers the promise of transition.

“I can think of no more important career advice than to listen to your gut and to own the power to control your future.”

I am so excited to see what the future brings — I almost cannot wait to go to sleep at night just so I can wake up the next morning to see what gifts lie ahead.”

You may love your job. You may love what’s next even more.

‘Painting’ a Picture of Your Dream

Eileen Kohan 1 Comment

For a number of years I taught an undergraduate course on career theories. Hang in there; I am not about to anesthetize you with the syllabus. As you may imagine, the content was a bit challenging and it took some imagination and good humor to engage students in the material.

In a nutshell, our career decisions reflect three major spheres of influence:

Our individual background including: age, gender, self concept, personality, values, ability and interests

Our social circle: family, friends, community, workplace and education

Our environment: political decisions, globalization, job market, socio-economic status and geographic location

All three are parts of a puzzle, when solved reveals a picture of our future.

Back to the undergraduate class. I think it helps to visualize how all these parts come together. To do this, we came up with the idea to create a collage that would illustrate, for each student, the evolution of their dream.

Starting with stacks of old magazines, poster board and lots of glue we all found our spot on the floor and returned to our kindergarten days, cutting and pasting, creating a vision that incorporated values, hopes, dreams and detours. In the subsequent class each student had the opportunity to present their collage and articulate their career vision. Lively discussion followed and in one case, a student who was being influenced to join a family business, found a substitute to introduce to his father – another classmate whose dream was to work in the type of organization his father managed.

All this to suggest a way to uncover your passion is to create a visual that creates a narrative for your journey. You can go old school and create a collage or use Pinterest to start a ‘career board’.

Creating a visual representation of your work life is a learning process, confirming your values and setting your GPS toward your career home.

 

 

 

It’s about the relationship – a visit to the dentist

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

It’s Monday and the first appointment on my agenda was a visit to the dentist. Not my favorite day. Not my favorite place to go.

In finding a dentist I went through all the steps I would take to research a potential employer. In my world view, when a degree of competence is required and my smile is at risk. It’s about the relationship and trust.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived at my dentist’s office this morning and the dental assistant kept referring to the dentist as ‘he’ when my dentist was a ‘she’. Apparently my dentist had left the practice after giving two weeks notice and the administrative staff failed to communicate. So I left. And I think they were surprised.

I explained the reason I chose their practice was initially the credentials of my dentist, and over time, the trust I experienced in the relationship kept me connected.

Often businesses view their product as a commodity; easily exchanged for an alternate when the original is not available. This approach probably results in the view that clients are interchangeable as well. And in the case of this dental practice, they may be right. But I don’t think that’s a sustainable view.

We’re all managing relationships in our workplace; with colleagues, leadership and customers.

Today, on the last page of The New York Times sports section there is a photo essay: ‘Standing Till The End’ about the employees who have worked at the Nassau Coliseum as ushers for the NY Islanders Hockey Team. This is the last season the team will be playing on Long Island. They move to Brooklyn and the Barclays Center next season. Reporter Allan Kreda described the scene at a recent game: “Standing at ice level and facing the Islander’s runway, Mike Artusa smiled broadly and had a handshake for all the familiar faces. And there was a seemingly endless supply of those…Like so much at the arena, which dates to 1972, Artusa and his fellow ushers, ticket takers and security guards are fixtures. And they revel in their roles, treating the jobs more like a family reunion that work.”

These are people who will be out of work in a few weeks. But they understand and continue to demonstrate the fundamental values of their workplace and manage the relationships with their customers ‘as family’.

Is there a connection between the expectations we have visiting a dentist office vs. how we are treated at a sporting event? Going to the dentist, my expectation is not to have a good time, as I would at a hockey game. I don’t expect the staff to be ‘fixtures’, lacking career mobility. But I do expect professionals who value their patients.

When it comes to customer service, we can all improve with experience and observation. Maybe the dental office staff should go to a hockey game.

 

 

Best Work Day Ever

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

Is there one question we can ask that will help us figure out what we want to do with our lives at work?

It may not be the only question, but asking ‘What was your best day ever?’ serves a variety of situations:

You have an interview tomorrow and you need a question to ask the interviewer to get a deeper sense of their work.

You are an employer and you have a slate of candidates to interview and you need to find someone who will commit to your organization’s goals.

You are meeting with a networking contact and only have a few minutes to gain some understanding of what it takes be successful in their chosen profession.

You are just trying to figure out what you want to do with your life.

In an interview, asking a potential employer about their best work day will tell you quickly whether they enjoy their work and give an indication on how they fit into their organization’s culture.  You can then compare the answer to your own priorities. Is this a place where you could be successful?

Lew Cirne, the chief executive of New Relic, a software analytics company based in San Francisco described his process for interviewing candidates in an interview with Adam Bryant for the Corner Office column in The New York Times. “One question I ask more often than others is, “Describe a day where you’ve just had the greatest working day of your life. You’re driving home and you’re on cloud nine. What was it about that working day that made you so happy?” If you’re doing what you love to do and it gives you that tingle down your spine, you’re going to execute at a high level.”

If you are considering a new career or a new organization, talking to people engaged in those careers and organizations is an important source of information in your research. Asking each person about their best work day ever will give you a sense of what they love about their work and the tradeoffs they have made to achieve success. It provides a hint of who they really are and why they do what they do.

Ask yourself the question. Better yet, ask a friend to ask you the question. And after you have answered, ask them to tell you what you said. Where were the smiles in your narrative? What were you describing when the energy changed? What did they hear that told them about your values and priorities?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First I Want to Thank the Academy

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

Yesterday I was in the vortex of the entertainment industry: Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Only three days away from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awards ceremony and the streets are clogged with catering trucks as party tents are being constructed in almost every available alley. The double decker tour buses were strained beyond capacity as visitors and probably a few long time residents take in the sights of Oscar week.

The entertainment industry and all that supports it are what work is for many in this Southern California region. And while the rest of the country is covered in ice and snow, on Sunday, a world-wide audience will tune in to the telecast and watch celebrities walk a red carpet in late February sunshine.

I’m not sure what percentage of aspiring actors will eventually carry a Screen Actors Guild card, but it’s probably a very small group that arrives at this pinnacle of their chosen career.

Judging from Oscar award acceptance speeches, it’s a rare achievement to be selected, in most cases after many years of hard work, failure and the support of teachers and family.

Last year, Lupita Nygong’o accepted her award for best supporting actress for her role in ’12 Years A Slave’.

“It doesn’t escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else’s.

When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child, that no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.”

Spencer Kornhaber, writing in The Atlantic noted why this speech stood out from the others.

“Really look at that wording: It doesn’t escape her for one second that her current joy directly stems from someone else’s pain. She does make the standard industry thank-yous to cast, crew, and family members, but she chooses to preface all of that with a lengthy dedication to the person whose story she told on screen. Later in the speech, she said she could feel the presence of the dead. Lots of Oscar winners try to project humility, but usually that professed humility is in relation to others in the film industry—not in relation to all of American history.”

Sunday, when you are watching the ceremony, listen closely to the words of the winners. It may remind you that our dreams are valid. Our dreams are built on history of others. And we are at our best when we are humble in acknowledging our success.

Job vs. Calling – Work to Live or Live to Work?

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

Do you work to live or live to work? That is the question. Or are you currently residing somewhere in the gray area in-between?

I have been thinking about this idea of differentiation between job and calling since the day I contacted a colleague at home and she asked me to hold while she covered the phone and yelled “It’s my job”. I was struck that this person who was so committed to her work, used the term ‘job’ vs. any other label in the English language. And I realized my bias, thinking ‘job’ was less than calling.

I think it has something to do with where our true passions lie. A job, to many, is a means to an end, while a calling is that nagging dream that disrupts any attempt to take a career detour.

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of ‘Eat, Pray, Love‘ and ‘The Signature of All Things‘ described better than most what a calling looks like in her TED Talk last year, referring to her work as her ‘home’.

“Your home is whatever in this world you love more than you love yourself…your home is that thing to which you can dedicate your energies with such singular devotion that the ultimate results become inconsequential.”

“The only trick is that you’ve got to identify the best, worthiest thing that you love most, and then build your house right on top of it and don’t budge from it. And if you should someday, somehow get vaulted out of your home by either great failure or great success, then your job is to fight your way back to that home the only way that it has ever been done, by putting your head down and performing with diligence and devotion and respect and reverence whatever the task is that love is calling forth from you next.”

Maybe we’re a bit reluctant to describe our aspirations as a ‘calling’. Maybe it’s more humble to have a ‘job’. I would not use caution in describing your life’s work.

 

 

 

 

Who Am I @ Work? Semicolons and Values

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

It’s a three day weekend and I am reading a book by Maureen Corrigan, ‘Leave Me Alone, I’m Reading’ and I have not even reached the end of the introduction when I come upon this sentence: “How do you know what you’ve become without losing what you were – and want to keep on being too?”

She is writing about her work ‘place’ where she is the book critic for the NPR program ‘Fresh Air’ and a critic-in-residence and lecturer at Georgetown University in Washington D.C. She describes how she uses a semicolon in her writing to link where she came from to who she is today. “The semicolon is my psychological metaphor, my mascot. It’s the punctuation mark that qualifies, hesitates, and ties together ideas and parts of a life that shoots off in different directions. I think my reliance on the semicolon signifies that I want to hold on to my background – honestly, without sentimentality or embarrassment – and yet, also transcend it.”

It brought back to an article written by Po Bronson in Fast Company magazine prior to the release of his book ‘What Should I Do With My Life?’ In relating the learning experience of interviewing over 900 people for the book he writes:

“Every industry has a culture. And every culture is driven by a value system.”

“One of the most common mistakes is not recognizing how these value systems will shape you. People think that they can insulate themselves, that they’re different. They’re not. The relevant question in looking at a job is not What will I do? but Who will I become? What belief system will you adopt, and what will take on heightened importance in your life? Because once you’re rooted in a particular system — whether it’s medicine, New York City, Microsoft, or a startup — it’s often agonizingly difficult to unravel yourself from its values, practices, and rewards. Your money is good anywhere, but respect and status are only a local currency. They get heavily discounted when taken elsewhere. If you’re successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and opportunity can lock you in forever.”

Who are you @ work? Can you find a link to your history in your day at work? Or, have you assumed the costume of whatever perception is necessary to succeed in your profession and edited your sentence, deleting the semicolon?