Tag listening

Are we missing a mentoring moment?

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

Before we turn into our best imitation of dysfunctional men@work, can we catch a breath and consider that we are on the same side?

Earlier this week a young journalist posted an account of an alleged sexual assault involving a visible Hollywood actor on a women’s news and lifestyle site.

Immediately the lines were drawn. Apparently those lines categorize ‘second wave feminists’ vs. the emerging ‘fourth wave feminists’. (My hair is hurting just writing this.)

Bottom line, both men and women are concerned that the momentum of #MeToo and #TimesUp will collapse with a published fictional account of workplace harassment.

It may happen, someone will fabricate, and when they do, we’ll deal with it. But we’re not there.

Again. We’re on the same side. Each of us has a role to play in this; as a leader or a participant in achieving the goals of workplace equity and safety.

This morning I viewed video and print accounts of an escalation in a divisive argument between a cable news anchor and the author of the original sexual assault story.

My question: Are we missing a mentoring moment here?

If an experienced professional in any field recognizes the potential of the office ‘newbie’, it’s their responsibility to guide, support and challenge that individual to ensure they have the resources to contribute. And when they go ‘off script’, engage in a constructive conversation.

I believe the 22 year-old online writer has received more unsolicited feedback this week than ever before in her career. Many influential ‘second wave feminists’ have been both supportive and critical. Although painful, what an amazing moment in a career when your work gets this level of attention.

How does this scenario end?

Time for the mentors to step up and for the ‘newbie’ to listen. If it were me, I would make the call and invite the new kid on the block to lunch. And if I was the newcomer, I would put on my listening ears, soak up all the wisdom of the ‘second wave feminists’ and become the best voice I could be for ‘fourth wave feminism’.

We’re on the same side. This has to end well.

The Saturday Read – Brian Grazer and Charles Fishman ‘A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life’

Eileen Kohan Leave a comment

Are you curious about the people who work for you? Academy award winning producer Brian Grazer thinks you should be. He manages his organization with curiosity, by asking questions. His book, ‘A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life’ was released earlier this year and is a memoir of his success and it’s source, listening to the answers.

“If you’re the boss, and you manage by asking questions, you’re laying the foundation for the culture of your company or group. 

You’re letting people know that the boss is willing to listen. This isn’t about being “warm” or “friendly”. It’s about understanding how complicated the modern business world is, how indispensable diversity of perspective is, and how hard creative work is.”

The initial reviews of the book focused on the ‘curiosity conversations’ Grazer has utilized throughout his career to network with a variety of folks in his unique quest for lifelong learning. But in the acknowledgements at the end of the book he addresses the reader directly on his purpose in writing ‘A Curious Mind’.

“a book not about my curiosity, but about what curiosity has enabled me to do, about what curiosity can enable anyone to do…”

“I didn’t want to write a book about all the people I’d had conversations with – I wanted to write about the impulse to have those conversations. I wanted to use the conversations to tell a story: the story of my steady discovery of the power of curiosity in my own life.”

For Grazer, it’s not just a hobby, but a commitment to intentionally integrate questioning into both his work and life outside of work.

“For it to be effective, curiosity has to be harnessed to at least two other key traits. First, the ability to pay attention to the answers to your questions – you have to actually absorb whatever it is you’re being curious about…The second trait is the willingness to act.”

In the early chapters he describes the power of curiosity to motivate, spark creativity, and build confidence. He is the ‘bard of curiosity’ sharing his career story intertwined with his capacity for discovery. But it’s in chapter five where the storytelling turns to management advice. “…the human connection that is created by curiosity…Human connection requires sincerity. It requires compassion. It requires trust.”

“Can you really have sincerity, or compassion, or trust, without curiosity?

“I don’t think so. I think when you stop to consider it – when you look at your own experiences at work and at home – what’s so clear is that authentic human connection requires curiosity.”

Here is the ‘gem’ of the book.

“To be a good boss, you have to be curious about the people who work for you.”

How many of you have a BA in business, an MBA or certificate from a prestigious executive management program? Has anyone ever suggested management by curiosity? We have all been taught to listen. And we don’t. But no one ever explained in this way, how critical the right questions are to getting to the fundamentals when decisions are being made.

“I use curiosity every day to help manage people at work…as a tool to build trust and cooperation and engagement.”

“And curiosity is the key to connecting and staying connected.”

Reading ‘A Curious Mind’ reminded me of a quote buried in dialog in the 2012 novel by Mark Helprin, ‘In Sunlight and in Shadow’:

“It’s a defining difference, curiosity. I’ve never known a stupid person who was curious, or a curious person who was stupid.”